So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
