Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
