Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
