I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize