Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Randomize
