So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
