no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
