Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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