Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
