Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
