how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
