its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
