Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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