You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
