I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
