Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
