I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
