Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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