I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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