I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize