At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize