She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
