what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
