I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize
