so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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