My friends, they love my intelligence
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize