Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
