We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
We smell like vodka and hangover
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