Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
