She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
