; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
