I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
