champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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