dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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