is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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