hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
