you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
