i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
