Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
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