you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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