porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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