kristin has been a bad kristin
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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