discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
