Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
