i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
