i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
try to milk me bitch
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