you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
