It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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