ugly people sure do ruin things
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
