3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
