Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
