I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize