what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
