It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
