Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
thus making me awesome and them whores
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
