I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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