Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
im on a boat
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