i just had sex bonerless
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize