Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
