She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
