He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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