he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
