Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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