i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
