But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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