What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
